I found out that there are huge groups of foreigners looking to marry Filipino girls. Why?
I work for an organization that organizes exchange programs for foreigners. I was searching groups on Facebook of foreigners that wants to travel abroad. I found the biggest groups containing the word “foreigner/s” are:
Foreigner Men looking for Pinay girls
FILIPINA WOMAN & FOREIGNER MAN
foreigners looking for pinay girls to marry
Foreign men meets Filipina women
Foreigners for relationship with Asian Ladies
Philippine girls & foreign men free chat & date
Foreigners Seeking Filipina For A Lifetime Parter
(some of those groups have over 100k members!)
We all know that many young Asian women wants to marry American/European (usually older) men so they can runaway from their countries and have a better life but what about those men? Don’t they feel like they are being used?
Why is that? What is so attractive about girls from Phillipines? I’ve been told that they are not so spoiled as American girls (lol) and that they are more caring, kind etc. People also told me that those men want a submissive wife that will do all the house cleaning without complaining (lol 2). Other question is: There are many Asian countries, so why specifically Philippines? Is that because they have English as their second language?
Anon: “That and be sexually available at almost any time.”
“I don’t know much about this subject but I will say that I don’t think it is specific to the Philippines. There’s a documentary by a British film-maker named Louis Theroux about an agency in Thailand that caters to British men who want to marry Thai women. It’s in interesting documentary and I’d imagine that the men in that film have similar motivations to the ones who you’re asking about.”
I just watched a similar documentary called “LOVE” that is about foreigners wanting to marry Ukrainian girls so they go on tour groups to find a wife in Ukraine. Brutal.
I know it’s not specific to the Philippines but I’d like to know why Philippines is the #1 target.
I believe it because the biggest groups on FB containing the word “foreigner/s” are like “foreigners looking for Philippines girls” etc. Also because I’m a foreigner (not Asian lol) and I’m engaged to an American man, so I observed that the majority of girls on forums about fiancé visa, marrying an American and similar are Filipino.
I asked a few times and the answers are got are something like:
Because Filipino are gorgeous and have strong family values.
Because American girls are too spoiled.
Because my ex-American-girlfriends did not help me with the house
Because they are humble
Because they don’t cheat”
“When in Thailand, years ago, waiting in the airport lounge for a flight home (to USA), overheard a couple of guys talking. Turned out they were going through a binder and rating women one of them had come to Thailand to evaluate. They were trying to decide which one he should marry. Very surreal scene.
I knew that men went to Thailand for sex and sometimes looking for a bride. But, never thought part of the process was browsing a catalog while reminiscing with a buddy about the pros and cons of each woman. Also, these guys were relatively young and decent looking. Not at all the stereotype being discussed in this thread.”
“At the company where I work, there are quite a few men that have married Fillipino women. Don’t hate on me for this, but all these men have social issues or physical characteristics that make it more difficult to find someone. Not that they could not have found some one, but that person would not have been everything they wanted in wife and there was resentment about that.
So with an Asian wife they felt they were getting a woman they deserved and one with more appreciation for what they bring to the table- a wife more likely to overlook the situations American women found problematic. Some of the women choose this option not because they are doormats but because they considered it a fair trade. The problems/situations do not matter as much in their social view.”
“I’m an American with a Pinay girlfriend. It’s almost impossible to live or work in the Philippines without meeting someone. The people are very friendly and culturally compatible with Americans.
Personally I like petite, dark skinned women so SEA and the Caribbean have provided most of my ladyfriends over the years.
Also, wonderful things like pansit, lumpia, and dinuguan come out of their kitchens and the culture is very food centered. If you take a Pinay girl into your household you will get home visits from the Phil-Am community and there will be food. We are lucky enough to have Phil-Fest in Tampa and a Philippine Cultural Center.
So I like the country, the look of them, the food, and the culture.
Consider it from the Filipino side as well. My girlfriend has never dated a Asian man. She likes tall hispanic or white American men. I qualify. I’m also gainfully employed and American which comes with its own rewards as it is a first world nation.
A lot of my friends have foreign wives, not just Pinay. Not everybody wants to marry a girl who looks and acts like his sister. You travel and you are going to meet people.
There is also the Catholic bonus but that really only applies if you are also Catholic.
TLDR; The Philippines and Filipinos are awesome.”
There definitely is a bizarre stereotype of that floating around though. Its pretty much sad lonely creepy men looking for a “mail order bride” and assuming that thats a thing you can just easily pick up from SEA countries.
Just guessing, but speaking English + huge Catholic prevalence would be a huge factor, in addition for the cultural reputation of having hard working, service oriented (nurses/childcare-desirable skills in a household) culture.
In addition, it is EXTREMELY common for Pinay girls to live and work abroad. Foreign work is a large piece of their economy. I would imagine that an opportunity to go to the US or a European country would probably be hugely preferable to living in poor conditions at home or say…Dubai?
I’m an American white Catholic, and my OKCupud profile I get a notable amount of visitors and messages from the Philippines. Most of then I have a high match rating with.
I think OP is assuming that most men are looking to the Philippines for a bride but I really think its more that Pinay are also looking to get out of the country.
Racist white men think of their Asian wives as free prostitutes and housekeepers. The reason why they complain about white women being too “feminist” is because they are sexist losers who are upset that white women do not listen to everything they say unlike white worshipers.
White worshipers who claim that white men are more “gentlemen” than Asian men need a reality check.
A Filipinos POV: (http://www.expatfocus.com/relationships-with-foreigners-a-filipinas-view)
If you asked me years ago exactly what I thought about relationships between a Filipina and a foreigner I probably would have given a different answer. And you probably wouldn’t have liked what I had to say. I had frowned upon such relationships and found myself thinking that I couldn’t possibly get into something like that. And, if I did, I’d have to be either desperate or simply out of my mind.
And the stigma? That Filipinas involved with or marrying foreigners are only after one thing — greener pastures in the good old US of A or any western country! Thus formed the basis for long-standing jokes about what to look for in a future partner: someone who has the “4 M factors” or Matandang Mayaman, Madaling Mamatay (Old, Rich, and Soon to die). If not that, then someone who has “CAR-acter & PESO-nality”. So, why should every Filipina who has what it takes to make it in life want to become the object of such unpleasant public perception? No way, I thought. Not me. No, Sir. Not me. Never.
To make the long story short, I found love when I wasn’t looking for it, from the last place on earth I’d thought of finding it, and with someone I never dreamed I’d find it with — a foreigner. Of course, love didn’t happen right then and there but the “connection” was instant. I had only met him and yet it felt as though I’d known him all my life. It was as if I’d been created for him, and he, for me and we were two souls fated to meet. It was…… destiny.
Truth and Lies about Filipinas with Foreigners! (http://twomonkeystravelgroup.com/filipina-dating-foreigner/)
1. I’m dating a Foreigner because I need a Visa or his British passport.
We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!? Yes, there are perhaps some Filipinas who have this reason but not in most cases! And even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport, it’s their life choice.. Why do you care?
2. I’m dating a foreigner because I need his money.
Unfortunately…wait for it…white people don’t actually shit money! Trust me, I’ve checked! When I met Jon, he had empty pockets and a $300 broken down motorbike. If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I must have been blinded by that magic white skin again! He works, I work. He saves, I save. Equal partnership!
3. I’m only successful because of my foreigner partner.
No matter what success we experience, people might still think it’s because the Magic white man got us here. I want to be modest here, but straight to the point. Do you really think we Filipinas can’t be successful without the help of any man or even a foreigner? Do you realize that you’re actually insulting yourself?! Well, if you think so, shame on you!
4. If he marries me, he will marry and support my whole family.
Well, hello! Again, it may happen in some cases, but before marrying their Filipina wife, the foreigner must already have met the family, right? So it was their choice if you still want to marry despite of the condition! Unless they slipped it in the wedding vows without him noticing, ‘…to have and to hold, to pay Lola’s medical bills…wait, WHAT THE F#%!$?!’ Unlikely…
We don’t all fit the stereotype, sorry.
5. The foreigner is dating me because he needs a slave.
Aha, so being warm and hospitable and loving towards your partner means that you’re a slave? Oh that’s great! I wonder if these people ever stop to consider that these feelings and actions are returned by the man. British and most other westerners are raised to be very independent. Most of them leave home at the age of 18 and up until then they do household chores; guys and girls!
6. If you’re white, then you’re rich!
Huh! Not all White people are rich, this is a hangover of the American occupation. We’ve had complete independence since 1946 people, get grip! Western countries have range of incomes and living standards just like we do. If everyone was rich, who would clean the streets, or do menial tasks that no one else wants to do? Ahh western-style economics, making sure we always have someone poor enough to sweep the streets!
The only real difference is the higher value of their currency on the world, which just makes their own countries very expensive to live in and other countries cheaper to visit! But this only works if they earn money in one of the expensive countries.
7. Only desperate Filipinas are dating Foreigners!
I’ve dated Filipinos before and was even in a long-term relationship with one! It’s pretty annoying when people say that “if you can’t find a good Filipino then just look for a foreign man.” This is also stupid, there are plenty of amazing, loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world. There are good and bad in every country, nationality has very little to do with it!
Again, maybe some Filipinas marry out of desperation, but this could happen in any country, not just in the Philippines.
On the other hand if you told me that I was only with a foreigner for his genes, then I might be inclined to agree. I would love our children to have Jon’s blonde hair and blue eyes, with slightly tanned Filipino skin…Actually that might look a bit weird to be honest, but we’ll let you know when we have some proof! We all know that most of the stars in the Philippines are half and half, perhaps we can make the next Anne Curtis, Sam Milby and Alden Richards.
Rhonda O. McNutt:
“My husband is 60. He had an affair while he was married to me and ask her to marry him and gave her a ring before even announcing to me for a divorce. It was an online affair for one year and then they met, had sex, met her family and he proposed. We are still married and he wants to bring her over to the states. She is 16 years younger then he is. What should I think and isn’t there a civil law in the Philippines. They say it’s for love, but it ll sounds fishy for me. I’m also partially handicap.”
“Not true, my fiance was denied a visiting visa here, to the US, as she could “TNT”..she is a wheelchair user like me, has a house in Cavite, works for a Insurance company in QC, has a degree in accounting,makes 40,000 php. has family but she, and 2 dozen other Filipinos were denied visas at the Manila embassy. The passport means nothing nowadays .Now If she wants to visit the US to meet me, my family see what Western Washington is like, she needs to come over under a fiance visa.It is a very involved process .”
What do filipino men say about all this? That their young women run away with often older foreigners? Do they not feel awkward that a young girl prefer an sometimes bald and fat old man instead of a young handsome filipino man? Does that not create tensions in the Philippine society and recentment from the guys against the old men, but also against many filipina women?
It’s becoming a norm in the philippines especially to provinces. Practicality-wise some filipina use Old/fat rich white to milk money. As of ratio 1filipino:13filipina so it’s not awkward or big deal to take notice of.
Hi everyone… I am always judge because I am way look younger with my partner- he is 48 and I am 34… but I look like a 20 years old….If we are eating in a restaurant or going in a mall, some people talk about us and having harsh comment… Both of us are working which means I am not about his money or citizenship because I told him that I want us to stay here. Don’t know how to deal with judgmental people… I always ignore but if I am alone it goes on my head.
Anyway a word of advice, foreigner or filo, if your gf/bf starts asking money or starts complaining and bitching how they are in desperate need of financial assistance, run away as fast as you can in the other direction. More often than not, that “need” will never stop once you give in. You will be inundated with never-ending sad stories. Even their families encourage it, they are conditioned to thinking that they should support the entire family, even the whole baranggay (throw in the next town’s askals too for good measure), and that you should too.
Not all filipina have that mentality if they want foreigner man just for money or wealth. I been in relationship with a dutch guy who is younger 1 yr than me. I like and love him alot because of his prospect and goal in life to have a family. He is not from rich family during his school year he know how to save his money for food gave by her mom and dad, during his college years he work and study to support him self to finish study. He is very independent person. He accept and love me about my past im a single mom i work hard to support my own child.
Please- it’s a whole business. From fraudulent visas- to the network in the states that already has the “husbands” picked out. Dying wives in the process.. Hit me as soon as the dirt covers the grave. Introduced by that nice P woman at the grocery who knew the wife was sick and dying. Bang a new Phillipa bride to be in the house in under 2 months. Entire families destroyed. Millions sent by cash to the Phillipines thru run down “Bodegas”
This is the reality- then 11 months later with a phony marriage done (as there is already a husband in the Phillipines) the old man is found dead. Phillipa bride scurries to get as much more cash as she can before getting back to the Phillipines- OUT of REACH of the law.
Right tell us some more fairy tales. For what is written here is 99% of the reality.
most of the time it’s philippine girls who aggressively pursue a relationship with a caucassian male even if the latter only wants to be friendly 😀
Thank you for a very well written honest post! I love it, and it’s so refreshing to know that there are filipinas out there who are independently striving hard to make the bacon rather than being a freeloader parasite to their white / foreign man. It is true however, that perhaps 98% of filipino women marry white/foreign guys older than them (and I’m talking about a huge age gap of 10-30 years) for the reasons you have pointed out in this post; the visas, the money, and the belief of saving them from their adversaries of poverty. In the middle east, most filipino women date white guys to uphold their social status and to satisfy their emotional need. These are the kind of women that repulsed me and makes me feel ashamed of having a filipino blood in me.
My father is filipino, mum is european. I never looked like a filipino but I have lived in the ph for 5 years and hang out with my fili classmates as I took filming classes in DLSU. When I got promoted for a job in the middle east however, it’s sad to say that almost all filipinos working there are uneducated and very judgmental. Almost everybody has the typical failipino thinking of “white is always richer and better” I don’t blame them, It’s how they are raised in a country filled with close minded religious bigots.
There actually was a time that I had ‘haters’ messaging me, telling me that all the expenses I had were being paid by my partner, despite them knowing perfectly well that before I met him, I have lived managed to live alone by myself, I have worked in 4 different multinational companies, and that I hold a good-paying job. (So why would I need someone else’s money!?)
It’s like they really want to prove that their prejudice is right–when it’s not! So I think that most people just find it a hard concept to grasp that us Filipinas can really be independent because there are a number of Filipinas who are legit ‘gold diggers’ who have really tainted our nationality. Anyhow, yes please, it’s not like all of us are after the white people just for their money, citizenship, or whatnot.
I AM A WHITE MAN MARRIED TO A CHINESE WOMAN.
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